Remembered for Something

I do not know how I would be able to handle such brutal… Honesty. No, it is honest from a publisher to tell any aspiring writer they have no chance because in their eyes you have no value. That is repulsive to me on a spiritual level.

This is also why I am not looking for a publisher. Or an agent. Till such time as an agent or publisher sees value in my work once I publish, I am going to do this on my own. Thank you to The Renegade Press who shared this little tidbit about the formerly all powerful gatekeepers to the craft of writing.

The Renegade Press

“We have been to the moon, we have charted the depths of the ocean and the heart of the atom, but we have a fear of looking inward to ourselves because we sense that is where all the contradictions flow together.”

-Terence McKenna

It’s no secret that I have been struggling to write lately. Over the past few months the aggressive creativity that usually floods my mind has dissipated and become more of a slow leak than a torrent. Despite my absence of inspiration I have persevered as best as I can, producing a handful of blog entries, and fleshing out the admittedly shaky blueprints for two separate novels. At first I thought that this writer’s block was stemming from a sense of nostalgia as I finalised one manuscript and began to transition into the next. But it turns out that I was wrong. My inability to write had nothing to do with nostalgia; I have…

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The First Galley

 

My novel has never been printed before.

…till now.

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It may seem stupid, but I have no functioning printer.  I probably will have to remedy this soon.  So how did I get a printed copy?  My father, in a glorious show of support shared a part of my second edit with my aunt, a former English teacher.  She printed it, and read it with a teacher’s eye for a good part of the novel she had till I said “No no!  Don’t for now.  Just enjoy it and tell me what you think”.  Needless to say it was a thrill to meet with her tonight and hear and see her reaction.  It is a rare gift for a writer at this stage to experience the joy and thrill you give someone with your work.

Today, I got a small piece of that in hard copy.  I admit I got a little verklempt over it… but not as much as my aunt who didn’t realize the kindness she did.

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Over dinner tonight, to which they were wonderful hosts, I got to experience a little of what they experienced.  It was like being given a breath of fresh air.  I’m so close to my creation, it’s like being underwater, and I can’t truly appreciate it when working so close.  To hear that I thrilled her and dragged her through the story, (even causing to miss her ritual of watching the news one day) is a joy that I will treasure always.

As it sits right now, I’m about to enter ‘end game’ status on my 2nd edit.  Most of what I have written so far is about to be completed, and I am going to be entering the ‘whole cloth’ arena where I will be writing new stuff to finish off all the groundwork I’ve laid.  I pray that this enthusiasm and joy will pull me through it all.

I would like to thank all those brave souls who have been my “Alpha Readers” so far.  Torfinn, Francois, Jon, Tori, Geoff, and now my parents and aunt, thank you for your feedback so far.  Your help and expertise has been a phenomenal help.  To my family I want to thank you all again for your support and belief in me.  It matters a lot for my confidence in myself does not sustain as well as I would hope.  Living out there on the raw creative edge is a weathering experience.

More will be coming soon, and I will be getting a more formalized Beta Read stage.  Then some polishing and hopefully off to the editor.