Stagefright

How many of you have spent a lot of time rehearsing to put on a show?  You spend weeks and months and maybe even years getting ready to go on stage and face the public and bare yourself and your creative skills to the judgment of the public.  To dare their criticism or praise is one of the most nerve-wracking things a person can do in my opinion.

And this is why I’m struggling so hard now that I am ready to launch my book.  Its so bad I am fighting very hard against throwing up my hands throwing what I have out onto the internet for free and hide under my bed sobbing.

I have stagefright, or at least the writer’s version thereof.  Apparently it’s an issue I’ve struggled with all my life and I’m putting it out here for all to see not to garner sympathy but in an effort to not let it ruin my designs again.

On another hand, this reminds me of two points friends have brought up to me in the past.

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First, once again, Thank you Mr. Lawrence who brought front and center to my attention the Hero’s Journey.  Not as it only applies to my writing but also how it applies to my life.  “The treasure you seek is in the cave you fear to enter,” he said ever so sagely in his soft southern lilt.  And dammit if this isn’t the cave I fear to enter.  Which means I have to enter it if for nothing more than to avoid the SECOND bit of wisdom on the subject.

Another friend, Fran, she had reminded me a long time ago that God will continually bring us back to the same point in which we failed, hoping that this time around we will surpass the challenge.  Much like being forced to beat an challenge on the obstacle course.  So I have my very own angelic R. Lee Ermy shouting at my Gomer Pyle self to the top of the wall get my butterball ass over the top.

So.  The next steps are far harder than I thought they would be.  Who knew, right?  But it’s time for me to get on that stage and perform.

 

 

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