State of the Edit: Face Scrubbing Frustration and Distraction

With a growl, I take off my glasses and scrub my face with my hands.  The frustration of the edit is just painful some days.

I’m late.

I’m angry about it.

I just want it to be magically >PING!< done.  Just done please.

On a positive note, I hit chapter 13 and am working on that aggressively.  On the downside, I’ve got 15 more chapters to go I think.  Or at least that’s my prediction.  My current page count is 181 pages, but I know that’s going to grow because about 5 of those upcoming chapters I have to write from nearly scratch.  Oh the pain of it all!

So okay… re evaluating a new deadline.  Labor Day.  Sure, that sounds good.  I might have to get back onto the social media and gaming fast to reach it.  Anyway, that’s the new shift for me.

On the other hand, gaming and the election are REALLY pulling at my attention span.  It’s so astounding and upsetting… so I go onto World of Warships and sink some ships to get the frustration out.  (or depending some days GROW the frustration because I suck or the game cheats… I dunno.  Something goes wrong and I get more ticked off.)

I’ve even made some videos of it for fun, though I have stopped mixing in music from my collection because I don’t want to get sued even though it’s not making any money.  Trust me, free music is generally pretty bad for this kind of stuff, and I really miss making videos scored to popular stuff.  That means one last mission, scored was posted and that was it.  But here’s one I can share here.

What can I say?  Even in my free time, I’m doing something creative to some extent.

I have to push myself too in an effort to get as much done as possible for the end of the month, I’m taking a vacation.  Hopefully that won’t throw me off too much.

But this is what life is throwing at me.

Now, what kind of things would you like to hear about?  Personal stories? More politics, philosophy, religion?  Creative stuff?  Post below what you think.

The Seraphim: God’s Hidden Sanctuary to Me

2598557

My unit icon and motto that has kind of spilled over to real life: “I am the fiend who slays evil for God.

My last two personal posts chronicled the destruction of my elbow by willful malice of gravity and the failure of friction to do its job, I want to talk a little on the aftermath of that day.

For a few weeks, I was unable to use my arm after surgery.  In fact, my surgeon went so far as to warn me that my soft tissue damage from the fall was severe and my size was a threat to even having my arm recover.  It was suggested that the worst case scenario was that I might have to have it amputated at the elbow if things went horribly wrong!  You bet your sweet bippie I was very very cautious about moving it at all.  Every bump and wobble scared the crap out of me. ( as an aside, I saw my surgeon for the second year check up, on Friday  have been informed he is extremely happy with the surgical repair done to my elbow. Considering the degree of soft tissue damage and reconstruction that he had to do, apparently this is one of his best jobs that he has worked on. That gives me great confidence and it is nice to see a man who has done so many of these be so happy to see me every time I have to go in. God has blessed me so greatly in putting my surgeon in my life at a time when I needed such help.)

But over time, I was able to finally move my arm far enough to reach my mouse and play games.  I was still gorked out of my mind at times on pain meds.  Something I really did not like, and thankfully avoided addiction with some ease.  As I came out of my stupor I started getting bored being by myself.  I’m not a very social person to begin with, but days were blurring and I was getting itchy to go out and about or do something, but could not.

When you have an active mind to begin with, you can get bored really easy.  Salvation in this manner came in two parts.  First, a friend on Facebook mentioned that the game “Mechwarrior Online” was out.  I’ve been a gamer since the Atari 2600 and RPGs since the same time.  Loved Battletech, and the Mechwarrior videogame series.  So I said, ‘what the hey?’, and fired up the computer to download it and play.

What an experience!  The game was fascinating to me at the time.  But quickly, as I got killed over, and over and over again in Player vs. Player battles (which is all the game is) I got frustrated. My frustration was boiling over to full rage-quit mode, and feeling very depressed because it was also still so isolated.  Nobody was there to talk to or associate with.  I was beating my head against a wall and only making my head mushy.

Then I figured out that the game was a team game and I had to join a guild to thrive.  Well, I put my name up on the “Mercenary” forum and stated in no uncertain terms how pissed off I was at the game, and was looking for a home for my Christian Conservative sensibilities.  I’d seen one Christian unit in the game, and they were a no-profanity league on top of it all, and I swore like a sailor (particularly at this game at that time), so probably a no-go there.  A few nibbles happened to my ad, but nothing came to it.  They were too hardcore, and I was too new and unskilled.

Art by Ron Kovalic

From the Card Game Munchkin by Steve Jackson games. Play it.

Then I was contacted by Colonel Alex Reed (His character name, not real)… head of The Seraphim.  We struck up a conversation over Doctor Who, (My character’s name is Kjudoon, which is modified from the Judoon… go read this stuff here to get the connections.) and I said I was really interested in the Seraphim, but didn’t think I could hold to the code of honor.  (no swearing, taunting, trolling,family friendly, Christian behavior)  Did I mention I can be a terrible troll?  Oh yeah.

Anyway, long story short, I joined up and cautiously entered a new realm and society!  Downloading Teamspeak and chatting with people all over the world who had shared values and interests was an eye opener.  I learned to play MWO better, even though my computer could not handle the load, and I was limited severely by it.

So that was 30 miles of bad road to get to the point.

The Seraphim became my social circle in that time, when I did not have a circle of friends to hang with or be supported with during a very dark time in my life.  I was having a crisis of faith, a physical crisis and all the while fighting depression from setting in.  Having this group of brothers and sisters there to talk with, pray with and play with was something I desperately needed.  I am grateful that God put such a place in my life.

It wasn’t until months later that I started realizing that this was truly a unique group.  Sure you had Christian guilds out there, but, well, their faith seemed more anecdotal and in the background.  Here, they live their faith right out front.  I never knew a group of men who would stop playing their hobby when someone came in channel in need, drop everything like a fire brigade and go right to prayer for that person.  Their faith is personal and even extends into the games they play.  It’s no longer just MWO, but several other games as well.

Its a small community of Christians who play games, not gamers who happen to be Christian.  It has no intention of becoming big or famous, but to be a refuge for those who need it most.  I will always be grateful that I found it, and have been able to be part of the experience, adding my voice to theirs as I healed, and became as whole as I will ever be again able to pass on the same to others.

As a final note, it looks like my production schedule for resonance point is going to be Mondays and Fridays with Monday’s being personal / autobiographical posts and Fridays be more entertainment / artistic / miscellaneous interest. So I look forward to hear your comments and imports. If there are things that you wish to see or know about feel free to contact me.

Orion’s Articles: Pandifico

Written back in 2004, I participated in a shared hard Sci Fi community called Orion’s Arm.  It was based on transhumanist theory and sci fi writing, something that over time I became increasingly uncomfortable with as my walk in my faith grew deeper and my politics diverged radically from the belief in a collective future.  But during my time there, I put together a series of articles under a Creative Commons license.  To that end, these items are open to the public to use, but I would love it if you give me a shout out that you used them.


 

Pandifico (pronounced: pan-diff-EYE-koe) is a powerful diamondoid composite that is constructed to be elastic and flexible like rubber. This diamondoid fiber is incredibly resistant to damage and almost impossible to shatter. It is fabricated with permaform manufacturing technology. When struck with hard kinetic force the elastic features allow the fiber structure to flex and bend in a manner similar to that of polymers and metals. Because of their design the fibers do not stay dented or bent and can pop out – on their own or with a little help – to their original form.

Pandifico can be tuned to have different degrees of hardness and flexibility. As with ancient composite bows the fibers can be made to stretch at different speeds according to the strength and direction of an applied force. For example, a sheet of Pandifico armor may stretch along it’s X axis at a rate of 1 cm per 100 joules while along it’s y axis it may stretch 1 meter for the same pressure and only move a micrometer for the same force along it’s z axis. Pandifico could also be capable of increasing or decreasing its resistance depending on its tension or distance stretched, thereby giving reduced resistance through the middle portion of the stretch while offering high or medium resistance as it approaches maximum stretch. Pandifico retains the strength of standard Diamondoid even when stretched to maximum tension.

Pandifico can be formulated in any color (including transparent) or molded into the same range of shapes as standard diamondoid without any loss of functionality. It can be made to conduct electricity or be an insulator depending on the specific chemical composition of the fiber structure. Some brand names of pandifico are “Pandiflex,” “Foreverform” and “Eternilam.”

 

(Diamondoid is a theorized class of materials made from mechanically assembled carbon atoms that have the strength of diamonds)

Atlas of Akiniwazi: Lake Neezhoday

The second in our series of Setting notes and details.

Lake Neezhoday:

Lake Neezhoday is actually two lakes in one. She boasts a massive bay that is almost a lake unto itself, and therefore they are called twins. Although not as big or as deep as Ogimaque, she can be just as violent and deadly. The straights between the two halves of the Lake are treacherous with currents, often with strange tides and undulations of the water. It’s almost as if Half Bay is running downhill into her larger sister. Near her head where Lakes Ogimaque and Manitou empty into her, is a massive chain of islands including the Largest Island in all Akiniwazi called the Silenoyane or “Seive Islands”.  it is actually a Jarldom inside the political boundaries of Neezhodayland that controls the shores around it.  These islands are also home to a great many pirates and small colonies of Skaerslinger who use the small, densely forested islands for places of ambush.

Lake Neezhoday also sports another large bay that has treacherous bars, silting and cross currents as well that often threatens shipping as it leads out into the Vithrfljot [vi-THUR-floht] which connects it to her little eastern sister, Lake Bawagiigaywin. The Lake has a strange tendency to freeze over only one half at a time. Almost never do both halves freeze over, and never does the churning “heart” of the lake at the Sieve Channels.

It is also the home of Ulfhaugerstrondland, the home of the Kyrkja.  In an effort to prevent the corruption of both religion and politics, the Kyrkja was given the small territory of Ulfhaugerstrondland, on the south east shore of the Lake  Much like the Vatican, it is the center of the Kyrkja throughout all Akiniwazi and centrally located to all territories controlled by the Forsamling. (The Forsmaling or “Congregation” as they call themselves are the descendants of the Vikings who settled Akiniwazi.)

Prominent Features:

Helligevagr [hy-lih-GAY-VAH-gur] (Holy Bay)

Neinnvanbjarg: [NINE-van-BE-arg] (No Hope Rock)

Meidrhvall: [my-DERH-vawl] (Tree Trunk Pole Knoll)

Silenoyane[sigh-LEN-OOH-yah-nay] (The Seive Archipelago)

Thiggardborg [TIG-hard-BOR-guh] (Thiggard Town)

Thokatre: [tho-KA-tray] (Fog Tree)

Tryggahvneyrr [TRIG-ah-VEN-ahyer] (Safe Harbor Shoal):

Ulfshaugrstrond [oolfs-HOW-gur-strond] (Ulf’s Grave Mound Beach)

Vithrfljot [vi-THUR-floht] (Wide River)

*Note, the Kyrkja is the official religious body of Akiniwazi, and the Forsamling.  It was founded by Franciscan, Benedictine, Dominican and Cistercian monastic orders, but has gone through radical changes due to the nature of the land.  An upcoming post will talk more about the Kyrkja.

**As you may have noticed, the names look kinda wild till you convert them out of their native tongue.  In my experience, most places have very boring names when seen in their native tongue.  Either they are named after prominent geographical features or people or events.  Sometimes, they’re just named “New” something.  that same convention was carried on here.

 

 

A Real World Example of Eternity

My faith is the basis for a lot of what I write, and so I will be talking about interesting stuff with my beliefs here.  If you don’t believe the way I do or get offended by it, that’s cool.  We don’t have to agree.  Go in peace.  For those who don’t care or agree or can hack it, read on.

tumblr_m07l4zofuy1qcdcamo1_500

 

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of sermons online.  I love Tony Evans.  The man just gets it for deep learning of scripture.  Just fantastic stuff.  If you really want to deepen your walk with God and strengthen your understanding of Scripture and the Bible, he’s a great preacher and resource.  It has done so much for me in helping me understand my faith… I just can’t praise it enough.  Go check him out if you are so inclined.  www.tonyevans.org

Shameless plug is now over.

These studies and sermons I’ve been listening to have been getting me to think very intensely on the nature of eternity in comparison to how we live in temporal space of our reality.  Not only that, I was having problems envisioning it, till I hit upon the realization that I am a purveyor of metaphors, if not actual eternal products!  It’s been going on ever since man was able to do this, and to realize this is amazing.

As an extension of considering the nature of Heaven and how we will be alive for all eternity in a place that has no past or future and exists totally in the present, my brain threw a rod till I had this epiphany.  The real world example I can give you is writing a story.

“Bwuh?”  You gasp in surprise.  “How is a bloody book an example of eternity?”  Well, a book is one form that the concept of eternity can hold.  It can also be a movie, or TV show, or any narrative describing the nature of life.  Technically music and poetry can be examples of eternity, but it’s not quite the same thing.  But I digress.

Storytelling gives a set of events by which we are entertained, and is at its heart an eternal object.

Storytelling gives a set of events by which we are entertained, and is at its heart an eternal object.  Sure it can be rewritten and retold, but much like “The Hero’s Journey” it is still eternal.  You can, and have probably, distilled down a story to its essence to understand it better, but that doesn’t change the fact that the story is still eternal.

I will go even a step farther.  Every individual story, as told is eternity in action… or inaction… whatever.  Pick up your favorite book.  I’ll just grab David Weber’s “On Basilisk Station” because it’s handy and I love me some Honor Harrington.  This book is an eternal representation of her, the fictional character’s life and events as important enough to be told by the author.  From the first page to the last exist simultaneously as long as the book exists.  The entropy of matter is an irrelevancy for the moment.  That means that the events of when Honor Harrington “pots” the King Roger with a single broadside with the Fearless in a sneaky maneuver exists and happens concurrently as the seizing of the Mondragon for smuggling.  They are separated only by the limitations of our four dimensional existence (X,Y,Z,Time).

The point remains that the events exist equally in the framework of the story in your head.  The pages it is written exist simultaneously, chronicling the events, and by extension in some respect happen forever as well.  Those events do not change over time, every time you read page 152 or whatever, it will remain the same.  That means it is in an eternal state (ignore the entropy of our temporal entropy afflicted world you get the point I think).

Now before you say, “but”, on me let’s trot this thought out as well.  You ever hear about how some people want a copyright defined?  I heard this example once and was flabbergasted at its implications.  A musician that writes a song, like say, Stephen Foster and “Camptown Races” (doo dah doo dah), owns not just the paper of the song, or the copies of the song books or the recordings, they own the concept and even the thought or idea of the song!  That means if you destroyed every recording and piece of sheet music out there, and someone happens to whistle or sing those familiar notes and words, the artist owns those!  (…And is due a royalty.  Of course this was given by a record company lawyer so you can imagine who they thought really owned those.)  :::rolleyes:::  Which I include to point out that the nature of a story is immaterial and eternal.

Even our own memory is eternal in nature.  You just can’t recall it simultaneously, but that’s a limit of the temporal world.  All our memories are stored in our heads simultaneously.

This is the essence of how eternity exists in the form of storytelling.  The events in our minds make them eternal as transferred to us in the form of storytelling.  Even our own memory is eternal in nature.  You just can’t recall it simultaneously, but that’s a limit of the temporal world.  All our memories are stored in our heads simultaneously.  The story of “On Basilisk Station” is now in my head and the events are called up sequentially, because I’m trapped in 4 dimensions, but they can come in any order and any time I choose or am reminded.  Backwards and forwards in time in the context of the story at will.

That’s eternity.  All things happening at once without need of order or being sequential.  Or be a mashup where they can then take on a characteristic unique in its combination (Check out LeeDM101 for some fantastic mashup music).

You could, in effect do the same with an autobiography or any book on history which converts the events of the past into a pastiche of eternity even though it spent some time in temporal reality.

Pretty wild, huh?  Needless to say, I’m still wrapping my head around it but this has given me a hook.

(Stop reading if Christianity  or anything not Pre-Tribulation Christianity offends you.  You’ve been warned.)

goawayhumans_zps5b137bd7

 

As an addendum, which I throw in to melt some brains.  For those who study the Rapture and end times events, I have come to realize why the whole “yo-yo rapture” criticism of “late/mid” Trib Rapture is irrelevant.   (By this I mean anything that occurs post 1st Seal opening.  Not Amillenialism, or no-trib, post-trib.  Those have other things to deal with.  Just specifically the “yo-yo” criticism.) This is epitomized by the idea that those ‘caught up into the air’, meet Jesus coming down to enact the wrath of God, turn around mid way, and come back as a victorious army.

If one is raptured out of the temporal world into the eternal world of heaven, it may seem like those caught up were only gone for a second or less or instantaneous, but instead spent an unknown amount of experience (since time is irrelevant) outside of timespace and could (from the remnant left on Earth about to get a-paddlin’) bounce right back down.  Meanwhile the experience of a lifetime may have gone on between that, including whatever needs be done to prepare those raptured to come back down and kick ass with Jesus.  Kind of interesting when you take that little wrinkle into account, hmmm?

Anyway, just a fun thought based on the above statements to bake one’s noodle with.  (45 minutes @ 350degrees).

 

 

(I like parenthesuses… and elipsesuses.)